I finally made a portfolio for my photography. I applied to one place so far and got an interview! This is awesome.
But I need to apply to more places now.
One thing I hate about myself is that I have this mentality that I could never feel sorry for myself because of the upbringing I was raised with.
Even when I’m having a plain shit day, I always think of the things I should be grateful for.
On paper, this is nice because you take the disappointments and see the positives, but it actually sucks because you’re mostly doing this because you were raised to not be selfish enough to be mad at the world.
Damn it. Why can’t I just be selfish for a day?
I fucking hate this.
—I Don't Care (I Love It)
i don’t care (i love it) - fleet foxes (cover)
Anonymous asked: There's no question mark, so it has to be a yes ;)
You’ll have to fight victor firstAnd if you win, then maybe yes. Haha jk
I just cooked bacon for the first time ever and it tasted amazing.
I know this isn’t a big deal, but I’m not too big a fan of bacon.
Okay. I guess that’s the random update for today.
Anonymous asked: I think being gay and having "friends" who are gay.. is a bit of a hassle. Straight friends are so much more easy to trust and get along with.
You have a point to some extent, but no real ‘friend’ would ever do you wrong. Gay/ straight/ what have you, a friend is a friend. If a gay friend does you wrong, then they weren’t ever a good friend to begin with. AND if a straight friend does you wrong, then they weren’t ever a good friend to begin with either.
I didn’t even know you could get hickeys on the face. Damn it. How am I going to explain this to work?PS you’re a brat. I should have kept you on time out.
my experiences with gay relationships.
When I had my first real relationship with a guy, it was damn hard. I don’t think any heterosexual or (forever alone) singles can quite fathom how difficult it is to be in an (openly) gay relationship.
I guess the word ‘openly’ can be used very loosely because I was far from open about this relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to put gays on some kind of pedestal; a gay relationship is almost no different to a heterosexual one. We hold hands, we kiss, we love, we cry, and we laugh together just as any other humanly couple would.
But what makes it so damn hard?
You can’t fucking display it to the world. Okay. Fine. Maybe it’s an individual’s choice that they don’t want to display their affections to the whole world, but how about you try showing the world a side of you that you’ve tried to hide for so long?
Trust me, there is no shame like not being able to let the world know how happy you are. To have to be afraid to kiss your significant other at any given moment, to have to fear just holding them close… just because people could be uncomfortable. I mean, I was harsh enough to tell him things such as:
"We can’t go there, we might run into people I know"
"What am I even supposed to introduce you as…"
"We’re not dating/ coupley tonight [when there’s a kickback/ social]"
And so, I say this, unless you’re lucky enough to have your first gay relationship be your last/ only, then please remember two important things for your next relationship:
When / if you find that you’re dating someone and you’re their first gay relationship, then be patient because it’s never easy to just express your emotions to people who never knew [about your sexuality before]. Be understanding for he/she is now as scared as you once were… so they’re probably going to do/ say something that will disappoint you [because you’re so sure of how you feel but they’re still scared to make sense of what they feel].
It’s going to be difficult because now you’re more experienced and feel you deserve to be happy and be able to show it… but can’t because they’re not ready. Just remember to be patient and as understanding as possible. Put yourself in their shoes, because not too long ago, you wore the very same shoes. And of course, talk it out with them, it helps a lot. It’s tough, but the payoff is so damn worth it.
I mean, what’s better than both of you being happy at the end of the day?
PS I’m sorry this post is so long. I just needed to get this out.